


The Talk

by Lady Divine (fhartz91)



Series: Outside Edge [14]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 02:13:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11174868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhartz91/pseuds/Lady%20Divine
Summary: After watching Kurt and Sebastian say goodbye "for now", Elizabeth figures out what's going on between the two of them, and decides it's time for a little talk with her son.





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to have a little fun with the idea, "What would have happened if Kurt got the 'sex talk' from his mother instead of his dad?" :) I hope you like Elizabeth Hummel as much as I do. Let me know in the comments <3

“Hey, Sebastian! I didn’t know we’d be seeing you tonight!”

Sebastian opens his eyes when he hears Kurt’s mother say his name. He’d been standing against the doorway with Kurt in his arms, running his fingers through Kurt’s hair and enjoying his boyfriend’s warmth blending with his own in the chill climate of the rink, the scent of jasmine and orange in Kurt’s hair overwhelming the smell of chlorine and refrigerant in the air. Sebastian had had every intention of bowing out quietly before Kurt’s mother finished her laps, but he’d drifted away into thoughts of the countless times they’ve stood here before watching their friends perform, watching their teammates play, watching new students learn to take their first glides on the ice.

He hadn’t noticed how much time had gone by.

But as Kurt’s cell phone alarm goes off in his pocket, Sebastian becomes aware of their surroundings. It has to be after eight by now, and Kurt’s mom is skating towards them with a huge smile on her face to say hello.

“Hey, Mrs. H,” Sebastian says, extending an arm for a hug. “I was just passing by and I saw Kurt’s Navigator. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“Nonsense,” Elizabeth says, sneaking an arm around Sebastian’s back to snag a longer hug. “You’re family. You’re welcome to drop in any time.”

“Thanks. You were lookin’ good out there.”

“Don’t I?” She glides back a step and performs a small scratch spin, pulling her ponytail out of its tie so that her chestnut hair – the same shade as Kurt’s – spills to her shoulders. “Pretty good for an old lady, huh?”

“I’d say you’re doin’ pretty good for Connor Murphy.”

“You’re sweet,” she says, pinching Sebastian’s cheek.

“Unfortunately, that alarm means I need to get my mom home,” Kurt says, fishing his phone out of his pocket and switching off the musical trilling.

“Aw,” his mom pouts. “Party pooper. I was just getting warmed up.” She swivels backward and her knees wobble, attesting to the opposite.

“Be that as it may,” Kurt says, choosing not to mention it as part of his argument, “it’s getting late, and I know Mike’ll want to lock up soon.”

“I guess we should let the poor man go home to see his wife and kids.”

“Yes, we should.”

Sebastian smiles at their back and forth joking. So often it seems like Kurt’s the parent and his mom the teenager. It’s such a lighthearted and comfortable relationship. They have a closeness that’s unique to them, a special connection that Sebastian has never seen between a mother and son. He doesn’t know if it has anything to do with Kurt’s mother being sick, the amount of time they spend together, or the fact that they have skating in common, but Sebastian envies it so much.

Sebastian’s parents aren’t bad people. They’re not even bad parents. They’re just emotionally unavailable. They’d tell anyone who’d listen that they got to where they are in life through hard work and sacrifice, and they feel like everyone else should, too (even if that does discount a crap ton of luck, privilege, connections, and a sizable trust fund on both sides). The problem is that they chose to have a family when they enjoyed being childless more. They make time for work and they make time for each other, but there never seems to be enough time left over for Sebastian.

Sebastian always had the love and attention of his uncle Chris, and he was grateful for that, but it wasn’t exactly the same.

Kurt’s parents have done so much to make Sebastian feel like a part of their family, especially Kurt’s mom – Friday dinners, movie nights, Sunday afternoon picnics. And more and more, Sebastian is beginning to understand just how devastating it would be for Kurt to lose her.

“I’ll see you later, Kurt?” Sebastian asks, secretly confirming that Kurt is still sure about his decision - that he wants tonight to be their first night together.

“Give me an hour?”

Sebastian smiles, overjoyed but doing his best not to let it show in front of Kurt’s mom. But he can’t help himself, taking Kurt’s hand and kissing it. “Will do. See you in an hour.”

“I’ll text you before I come by.”

Sebastian nods. “Bye, Mrs. H.”

“Bye, Sebastian. Drive safe.”

“I will.”

“Come on, Mom.” Kurt takes his mother by the arms and helps her off the ice. “Let’s get those skates off.”

Elizabeth watches Sebastian leave while Kurt leads her to a nearby bench. Sitting down, she gets a clear view of the hallway through the glass on the doors. She sees Sebastian perform an off-ice double axel, finishing with a bounce and a silent cheer before he hurries out the door.

Kurt, busy undoing the knot in her laces, doesn’t see, but he’s biting his lower lip, trying to keep an equally excited grin from crossing his face.

She smiles to herself. _Ah, youth …_

“So, you guys hanging out tonight?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says dreamily, then catches himself. “Uh … well, for a while. I’ll be back, but it’ll be late.”

“Really? You’re coming back tonight?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’d think you’d want to spend the night at Sebastian’s house, wouldn’t you? I mean, all things considered. It’s going to be a special night, isn’t it?”

Kurt’s fingers fumble with the laces. He looks up at his mother staring fondly back at him. “H-how did you …? D-did you hear us talking?”

“No,” she says. “But I know that look on your face. It’s a very _significant_ look.”

“And what look is that?”

“Decisive. Determined. Anxious. _Excited_.”

“But how do you know we haven’t … you know … done it before?” Kurt asks, returning to his mom’s laces and undoing the knot. He’s curious, but not entirely comfortable focusing 100% on this conversation. He’s talking about sex with his mother, for Christ’s sake! He needs to do _something_ with his hands so he doesn’t stick his fingers in his ears and start singing “na-na-na-na-na”.

“Kurt” – She takes over the task of loosening her laces so that Kurt can start on the knot on her other boot. “I’m not blind and I’m not stupid. I’ve seen you go on date after date with him, then watched both you boys perform a perfect routine the following day. At least one of you wouldn’t be walking straight if you had, so I can’t imagine what your guys’ _skating_ would look like.”

“ _Mom_!” he says, mortified, but also wondering if he should grace his boyfriend with this information. It might be interesting to see the shades of red Sebastian would turn if he did.

“I’m just saying” - She giggles - “but you’re also taking for granted how much I know you.” Elizabeth swallows hard, holding on to the strength in her voice with both hands. “I know that with everything going on in your life, the trouble you were having at school, the time you were putting in at the rink, the challenges you were facing with the team … you weren’t ready.”

Kurt exchanges one of her sneakers for a skate and starts putting a soaker on the blade. “Are you upset at me?” he asks quietly.

Elizabeth gives her son a sidelong look. “Why would I be upset at you, honey?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I thought ... maybe … you might be disappointed if you knew.”

“Kurt, why would I be disappointed? Sex isn’t a bad thing.” She puts a hand on his shoulder, rubbing tight muscles. “There’s nothing _wrong_ with you wanting to have sex with your boyfriend. You’re a responsible, intelligent, mature young man in a committed relationship with a wonderful someone who loves you. Everyone should be so lucky. I’m _happy_ for you.”

“Really?”

“Really.” She scoots in close and leans against his side. Even after all this time recovering, building up her strength and putting on weight, she still feels light as a feather against him. “But this _is_ a big step. So before you do this, is there anything you need from me?”

Kurt looks at the skate in his hand and sighs. He wishes he could borrow a moment to throw on his skates and practice his newest routine. Everything’s so much easier on the ice. When he’s struggling with a move or ironing out a jump, his other problems seem smaller, farther away. On the ice, skating is all that matters – balance, artistry, footwork, control. Everything else has to figure itself out on its own without him.

Of course he learned a long time ago that that’s not actually the way it works. His problems just wait for him to take his skates off again.

“Maybe some advice?” he says.

“Sure, kiddo. What kind of advice are you looking for?”

“I don’t know. I guess what I want to know is – do you think we’re going too fast?”

“Sweetie,” she says, suppressing a kneejerk reaction which could be considered inappropriate, “you’ve waited a long time compared to a lot of other relationships. But this is _your_ relationship, and only you guys can decide if you’ve waited long enough. What do you think?”

“I think we have.”

“And, when you think about tonight being _the night_ , do you think you’ll have any regrets?”

Red stains his cheeks at a fleeting thought of what tonight with Sebastian will be like, knowing that his mother is sitting beside him, waiting for an answer. “No. Not a single one.”

“Then I would say that if this is what you want, then do it.”

“It’s going to change everything, isn’t it?”

“Not necessarily. It’ll only change what you guys let it change. But you two are starting out on good, stable ground. I can only see this being a positive experience for both of you.”

“B-but … what about Dad?”

“Yikes, Kurt!” His mother snickers. “We’re talking about you having sex with your boyfriend. What the heck does _your dad_ have to do with it?”

“Do you think that _he’d_ be disappointed in me?”

“Kurt, that shouldn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t. I’m just … I …” He drops his head, mildly embarrassed, slightly exasperated.

Elizabeth takes her son’s hand in hers, noticing that it’s bigger than the last time she remembers holding it. Bigger than her hand even. When did her little boy grow up? Wasn’t it only yesterday when his father was trying to teach him to ride a bike, but he said he wanted ice skates instead? Wasn’t it an hour ago when Kurt was standing outside of preschool, crying his little eyes out because he didn’t want his mom to leave him, and now he’s about to go off to Cornell? She’d passed by his bedroom just the other day and saw empty spaces on the bookcases where trinkets and picture frames used to be, empty rectangles on the walls where posters used to hang. Wasn’t it only about a week ago when she and Burt moved in, and they decorated his room for him, setting up his crib and Elizabeth’s rocking chair, eager for the day when Elizabeth would finally give birth to him?

She takes a deep breath, bites the inside of her cheek, squeezes his hand and fixes her smile.

“Your father believes that you should wait until you’re thirty, but that’s because you’re his little boy. And you’ll _always_ be his little boy. You could be fifty-three, but when he looks at you, he’d still see you sitting at a plastic table on the front lawn, wearing a shirt and tie, and serving him cakes and tea in tiny cups and saucers. But, to be completely honest, you’re older than I _or_ your father was our first time.”

“Really?” Kurt’s nose scrunches, not because he’s judging his parents, but because he could have lived a long and happy life without that knowledge. But as unsettled as Kurt seems by it, Elizabeth isn’t offended. She’d probably have reacted the same way if her mother had said that to her at his age.

Heck, she’d be icked out if her mother rose from the grave tomorrow and said it.

Ew.

“Look, Kurt, your father and I love you. All we want is for you to be happy. Whether or not we approve of you having sex shouldn’t factor into your decision because it’s not about us. It’s about you and Sebastian. But just so you know, if it’s _important_ for you to know, we won’t be disappointed. As long as you’re making your own decisions without pressure from anyone else, you can’t disappoint us. Okay?”

Kurt nods. “Okay.”

“Good. Now give me a hug.” Elizabeth opens her arms and her son slides in them, wrapping his around her waist. “Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Good. Because I have one more piece of advice for you, and I hope that you’ll take it to heart because it could change _everything_.”

Kurt looks at his mom, his expression warm and relaxed, confident in his decision even more than he had been before. “Yes?”

Elizabeth gazes deep into her son’s eyes. She puts a hand to his cheek, kisses him on the nose, and says, “Lube, Kurt. Lube is your best friend.”

Kurt blinks. Then his whole face pinches and he scoots away, lips pursed as if he just tasted something sour. “Oh … oh God, Mom. Why? _WHY_?”

“I’m sorry, Kurt!” she chokes out, balled over and laughing. “I had to! Embarrassing my kid is a requirement, but with you … you don’t make it easy!”

“There’s a reason for that!” he groans, laughing in between.

“Kurt! You don’t understand! I couldn’t show my face around the other parents if I didn’t grab the chance when I had it!”


End file.
